Jeopardy Question: A Puppy on my Toes and a Toddler on my Chin

What is using my body as a teething toy Alex?

Ding ding ding! :)

My word goal today was 5k and/or a chapter. Instead I have a rambling 2k full of mental breaks that threw me out of the story and plot. Why? Because our 13 week old Rottweiler puppy thinks my toes are the best things to lick and suck on. Husband made some comments about the puppy thinking my toes were teats, but we won't go there. :P My little girl is going to be a big huge giant girl. I really need to stop her from doing this before I end up pulling back nubs. That-and the thought of having teats for toes really barfs me out. May have to work that into a villain in the future. If you see in on of my future books a villain with nipples for toes, you will be horrified instead of confused and feeling icky like the rest of the world.

You know those expensive salons where they have women getting their crusty foot funk eaten of by fish? Like a fish pedicure? I bet I cold make tons with a rottweiler puppy pedicure. Well cover you toes in peanutbutter and let the go to work.
     

Fudge, our baby girl, is currently 13 weeks old and she weighs 42 lbs. Oye.

The 9 month old baby only wants to be worn like a broach when he's unhappy. That means I have to type my daily goal, get into my zone, and enter my writer subspace to get my groove on. All while covered in slobber of various baby species.

My appologies in advance to my future editor, you may come across places where you totally lose what the hell I'm trying to say when horrible torture for the leading man become standing in a puddle of wet, cold demonic puppy pee while a harpy child is entangled in his hair and wont' stop screaming right into his ear.

I might even start some fantastical planet where people don't poop, and they hybernate through their teenage years. Oh, and while we're at it, Health Insurance is free for all of those bazillion germs they bring home from the breeding pits of preschool. Biological warfare doesn't scare me. I've got three boys under the age of 6.


Oh, and if my HEA includes the leading lady locking herself in her beautiful and sound proof bathroom with a magazine and some bath bubbles, just go with it. It will probably be the closest that I can imagine to nirvana at that moment.